omg! did i like this job?

okay, i don't know exactly what i like. i don't have any interest or hobby...well, i really really like to sing and making songs, but i don't think i will ever success in this field. it's so frustrating, and like Tey says, there's a lot of hardwork, sweats and tears along the way. but i think without the right package, i will never success! <--so i can cancel this choice

so did i like to work in a confined place doing all the admin jobs? No Wayyyyyyy.... i do think working like that is better if i want to live a normal life. but then again, i just feel it's not what i like.

so, instead of all those types of jobs, i think i still prefer working as retail assistant or as an oprator in factory, huhu...so why am i wasting my 4 years studying in university if at the end i'm becoming a low rated worker? i hate to admit this, but i do appreciate knowledge, but sometimes it's was just served me as knowledge where else i don't prefer knowledge in my routine life....arrgh!!!!! now i just don't care with what other says!

awww...

to stay or to leave?

today ong off-day, so i didn't see him...but i'm still thinking about his words, about i should plan my future. at first i felt really angry, i hate it, so terribly hate it!!!! i feel like i'm about to cry! how dare him questioning my meaning of life?! this is so unfair, huhuhu ='( he is so unreasonable!

but at the end of the day, i was thinking...maybe this is an alarm from God that i should take my life seriously, maybe i'm about to die? so don't go astray...yeah, if not, why such a person, who definitely knows nothing about me so dare to come and advice me? and i really hate it. i already told him that i don't want to think about it, i will NOT think about it! but i did...why? why? why?!huhuhu...is he a reincarnation of my late father? usually i will rebel all the advices given by my father, but in the end i followed all of it. is it? is it my God wants to give me a lesson? but my heart had already broken, how can i be happy ever again? i really really wish someone will come and save me, but i know that day will never come...

so i had been thinking...maybe it's a sign that i should go back to my hometown...try to fix everything that i've broken...but i'm so scared. i hate the feeling that i have to start all over again...it's not a new place, but i've never feel like home. so what should i tell? huhuhu...hometown never feel like home, penang never seemed to welcomed me...so where should i go? do i stay? or should i just leave? i think the latter will be the choice...huhu...no more internet, less youtube, and definitely no money, no connection to outer world =(... so goodbye my beloved Penang~~~~~~~~~~

omg! i'm so angry!

huhu...what a fucking shit day, fucking retard customers + biatch2...i hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!why are those people even exist ?! this is so unfair!!! crazy customer!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!! hmmmph!!! padan muka customers bodoh budusss....

am i that unreliable? this is so crazy! i can't live in a place where people don't trust my ability...ada ka kena ty soalan cam tu...huhu...rasanya mmg la sy ni cam tia brapa berguna, tp klu kena ty apa plan masa depan sy, mana la sy boleh jawab!huhu...sedihnya cam mo menangis jak,huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu.....bukan la sy mo ckp c ong ni jahat, tp btul2 sy tia suka kena lecture,huhu...aparaaaahhh...sy ni lebih tua 3 thun tau, mesti la sy paham pasal perancangan masa depan sy, tp sy teda la mo plan apa2 lagi skarang ni, sbb sy mmg tia organize py org, klu sy kasi sia-sia masa sy pun, tu kan masa sy, bukannya masa siapa2...huhu...cis, sedihnya sy, btul2 rasa cam sy ni teda guna langsung,huhu...hati sy uda remuk dipijak2, tali bergantung sy pun uda putus, camna la pla sy mo membina kehidupan baru yg gembira kunun?huhuhu....apa2 pun, susah2 ja c ong tu p nasihat sy, huisssh...melampau btul, ni yg buat sy rasa mo blik sabah cepat2 ni =( uwwaaaaaaaaaaa.....huhuhuhuhuuhuhhuhuuh....

lirik ku =)

td sy selak2 buku lagu sy, ternampak ini...ni lirik yg sy tulis, tp blum cari melody lagi, chorus pun blum ada,hhaahhaa...ntah uda tersimpan brapa lama uda ni, tp sy rasa not bad jg oh,heheh...ble la kampung2 kunun,hahhahahahah XD

Sometimes people say life must be easy
it's only good if you had the best
get it the easiest way
that's when you're at the top
everyone craving for it
everyone dreaming for it

but what is life?
did anybody out there knew?
what to feel and what to expect...
how does it taste?
we're so different...
so who are you to blame?
if i'm not what i was

i'm waiting and it hurts
i want to be free but what is freedom?
if one day there is a person
who scold me just for what i am now
i wish i can shout back and say
"i am me, stop bothering me!"
and just walk away.

huh?! *blurr?!*

hola...today is not a bad day, though it's still boring as usual,huhu...okay, this morning i sent a good luck message to mary, my best ever bestfriend, hahhahha...gud lak for her job,heheh...but she sent me ohh tidak erley,huhu...i was surprise, i wonder what happened, but i hope it's not bad,huhu...i hope she's okay XD

then, when i was waiting at the front of the shop, i saw ong...hahaha...sorry this blog contain a lot of ong, uncle jeffry, zam, shimah and MARY <3 ,hehhehe...what to do, half of my day is filled with them...hahhaaha...but i really wish mary is here too...miss all the fun stuffs we used to do together XD

okay, back to ong...he looked like he's in the good mood,hahahha...he came to me and ask me :"how?"...huh?! i was so blurr...i ask what how?hmmm...he left already....hahahha...then uncle jeffry came...he asked me:" do you sleep well last night?" huh?!...i'm so blurr now...but i said ya ya...hahhaha...hmm...i'm not used to being ask in the morning,hahaha...

today nothing really happened. we don't have a lot of customer...oya, today ong teach me a few things about the file, cause he wanted me to follow-up the file's stock...oh no, i'm so blurr...what is this follow-up thingy?huhu...well, zam will be doing the arts and books, whilst ong will do the it-tech and pens...aahh..whatever lah,huhu...cam tia best ja mo buat benda ni tau,huhu =( so he showed me the different types of files and other things as well...but i found funny is that he always have a bit of complains about uncle jeffry, i mean not in a bad way, but like for example uncle jeffry likes to put new items in wherever space available regardless of the types of the item,lol XD

okay, then finish already...stock came...so i need to check the delivery... it was a story book. i don't want to say novel, because from the title it was quite childish,hahahah XD whatever lah...oh no...i'm hungry la pla time malam2 cam ni,huhu...oh, cepat2 kasi habis crita, =(

ah, pa lagi ahh..oya, sy check tu stock swan stabilo,huuhu...fening mo juling mata sy tgok tu pen2 yg berpelbagaian sekalian,yay XD check py check...tiba2 uncle jeffry ckp: "why you two so quite?" huh?!(again)hahhahaha...mesti la diam, camna mo buat bising klu sy sibuk mengira pen, c ong pla sibuk menyusun barang nun di hujung sana...hahhahaha...merepek ba c uncle ni, sapa suruh tia pasang radio, patut dorg pasang radio ba ni spy tia sunyi, wlpun sbenarnya sy tia suka org bising time sy menigra,hahahahha XD

okay, okay...part yg paling lucu hari ni ialah, jeng jeng jeng...ada ba ni customer mo fotostat...pastu ada gambar harimau...dia mo kasi besar gambar tu kali pada pemahaman sy...tp sy tia tau buat, jadi sy panggil c ong...pastu c ong yg buat...hahaha...dia bilang dia paling tia suka fotostat,hahhaha...lantak ko la ong XD
pastu dia buat py buat, dia kasi tunjuk...ropa2nya, tu orang mo buat kasi jadi dua ekor harimau tu dlm i keping kertas,haaissh...hahahha XD...lucu ba c ong tu ckp: "ooh, ni shi yao liang zhi lao hu" trus kami tiga2 ketawa...aduii mo pecah perut, sy rasa mo berguling2 ja di lantai ketawa,hahahhahaha XDD sbb sy teringat tu lagu harimau...pastu sy ingat time bloopers hana-kimi versi taiwan tu c ella kasi ketawa versi lagu negara c wu chun: san zhi lao hu, san zhi lao hu, bao de kuai, bao de kuai...yi ke mei you yan jing, yi ke mei you cui ba, zhen qi kuai, zhen qi kuai...eh, na di san zhi qi le na li ne?hahahhaha..." ba, mana uda tu pak belang ketiga,hahahah...tp dulu sy pun ingat 3 ekor ba tu,hahahahah XD ROFL ROFL *guling2*

aduiii...melampau uda laparrrrr sy ni, mo p cari dlu benda2 yg ble dimakan,hahahha...tadaaaa...

to be continued...

it's a bad bad day!

today is one of the worst day at work...( but i don't know about tomorrow, hopefully it will be better),huhu =(

hmmm...this morning, awal2 lagi sudah kena sound,huhu...uncle jeffry briefing me and zam about the pens...he said, that day a customer asked one of the staff where is the mechanical pencil...the staff showed him the place, then left...without even showing him which one is which. Jeng jeng jeng...actually that guy is the brother in law of Mr. kong...our biggest boss...the ceo,huhu...i think he must be a mystery shopper la,huhu...then he complained to headquaters...and uncle jeffry get scolded, then we also get scolded(coz we're the lowest in the chain)blah blah blah...like usual lah,huhu...well, the guy didn't point out the staff's name, but of course i know it very clearly, that she is me....*gasp* ~sigh~ huhu...then i don't have mood to work the whole day =(

okay, that is one thing...then when i'm helping zam...uncle jeffry once again call me. this time about the invoice. Ooops, i didn't finish my work yesterday, i should have checked all the things in the invoice and in the purchase order, but i didn't. i didn't even chop sign the paper and i didn't make any photocopy...what?! am i that sucks? gosh.... =(

then, because zam also get scolded, her mood also down...then she talk quite rough with me, but still acceptable la...no hard feeling, cause i myself not in a good mood...

okay, then again...ong also not puas hati lah...yesterday a customer bought a pen...quite expensive one, Rm 54.90 ...Allan D'Louise brand( not sure the spelling). me and uncle can't find the box...so we end up giving him the Zebra brand box,hahahah...actually that guy didn't even want the box, but uncle la so semangat want to give,hahhaha...well, today i heard uncle scolding ong,hmmm...so the story goes...i knew i will get scolded as well,huhu =(

so ong teach me what box should i give, where to find it, etc etc...then he said:" yesterday arr...when the customer buy the pen, you and uncle can't find the box arr, why you didn't call me?" hmmm...i just kept quite...huhu...but my mind thinking. why ask me? ask uncle lah. how should i know i can use the telephone? and i don't even have your no...excuse me! huhu...maybe his no. is in the telephone book,hmmm...but still it's no my fault la, it's uncle fault, yay! XD <--don't want to admit,keh keh keh... =P

so, we went upstairs to keep some of the boxes...when i'm busy arranging the boxes, ong ask me something...he ask me: "yesterday around 8smthg pm a girl came right...did you saw her?" hmmm...actually i knew someone they knew came cause last night zam told me about the girl, but i was busy binding things so i didn't see the face,lol XD then he asked again did she came with her friend? how many? did she buy something? hahahahha...i'm about to burst into loud laughing, rofl,hahahhahah XD
this guy arr...hmmm...i think he likes the girl, cause when i told him i'm not really sure, but she came with 1 friend only(actually i thought that's her boyfriend), he looked uneasy, muahahhahaha XD aisey, mesti dia kecewa ni tia dpt jumpa, can really see from his face,lol =P i think this is so funny, but i just let him be,ohooohohoho ;p

okay, so night came...this is about photocopy things...oooh...how i really hate dealing with pak arab...huisssh...banyak songeh mo mampus, cisssh!!!!!...i made a lot of mistakes, and kedapatan oleh c zam, so kena la marah lg,peh...huhu...but i made a lot of mistakes during photocopy session, geramnya,huhu...arrgh...biar la ko pak arab, nah masuk uda dlm blog sy, padan muka,hahahhahahah XD

okay, okay...tutup kedai, yeah...tia sabar mo blik rumah, hehehhe XD sempat lagi p seven eleven bli roti pound, ni ja la makanan sy satu minggu ni, pasni kena la sy minta duit pla dr rumah lagi,huuuhu...sedihnya =(

what is she?

today, a lot of customers asked me what am i...it started with a chinese girl who want to find a highlighter with two colors at each egde...uncle jeffry can't find it, so i grab one of the hightlighter and show it to the girl...the girl was so shocked, he asked uncle jeffry, exactly this question :他是华人吗？(ta shi hua ren ma?)then i said:我不是华人。(wo bu shi hua ren). and by this answer, she gets more and more curious, asking me: how did you understand what i'm talking about...then i answered: well...i learn some chinese language before, so i can understand...the conversation ended, and i continue doing my job...

okay, so there is this one customer.at first i thought he is a malay...but when he's talking, somehow it's not fluent. he is waiting for his friend. i don't know what to do, so i just smile at him...then he ask if i'm a chinese...then i said no...a malay? he continued. i was about to say yes, but suddenly the azan berbunyi, so i think if i say i'm a malay, then if he caught me eating, then i might be arrested,hmmm...so i said i'm a sabahan. he was shocked...but not really that shocked i guess...what's more shocking is that he said i look like orang thailand...very lagi tu...adessh...he said he's from thailand, now i see the connection...adedei...how could it be? now i'm qualified for a chinese, malay, indon, filipino, siamese, and of course a dusun...i wonder if next time, someone from the arabs or the black tribe will also said i look like their kind too,lol XD and yeah, i also got two votes for being like an indian girl, i will always remember that...this is so crazy, good good, cause this mean i got a universal look, perrrgh... o.O

oh ya, there's an uncle who ask me am i chinese? i said no...like usual, the question continued to am i malay? ahhahah...i didn't answer, instead, i told him i'm a sabahan...jeng jeng jeng...so a very brilliant question came out: so you can't speak malay?.....huh?! aiyoo uncle, i'm a malaysian, of course i know la, how come i don't know, bm is considered as my first language(hahha...sptutnya bhs ibunda ba yg 1st langugae, tp tu pla yg sy tia tau ckp,huhu...)...bah bah bah...suka ati ko la pakcik,hahahha...lucky he ask sincerely, if not i'll be pissed off...now it's so funny...some people thought i can't speak english at all, it's like i can't even understand the instruction that are given, and at the other extreme...i don't know bm?! huh?! you're kidding me right? lol XD

i'm so stupid =(

huhu...just now a person from the gems programme call me, asking me whether i'm still interested with the programme...but the programme will be held in sabah, and i'm not quite sure if i want to leave penang yet,huhu...anyway, the interview is due tommorow, but tomorrow i'm working...i can't just leave without telling the boss...i don't want to be irresponsible, because i'm not sure if i can really get into the programme...but now i feel very sad,huhu...i wasted 2 interviews already, the other one was the insep programme, reason? i still don't have my certificate and transkrip with me yet, and there's no more second chance...i feel so useless now,huhuhu =(

09/09/09

hahhaha...it's wednesday!
according to my fb games(forgot what application), my luck for today is only 16%...whatever lah..

hmmm...today i thought would be the most boring day, cause only me and ong working...since i'm not the talkative type of person, there will be a very quite day, lol XD

the result: kinda, lol XD

but at least there's a little conversation, better than none at all, hahah... okay, but the question including why i want to stay in penang, rather than going back to sabah...then, how long will i stay...i really didn't expect that question, so i'm not prepared...i end up saying i'm lazy to go back, but actually i should say that i want to stay here till i'm bored, and going back sabah for good, never to come back here again =)i'm actually feel quite phobia with this question, the very same question ask by along aka sabariah...but of course on different point of view, last time because she likes me, wanting me to stay longer...but this time, maybe the guy were just curious, ohohohooh XD

he does have a very high curiousity, especially on what things usm student do,hahaha...he even ask me why did the usm student buy the sponge paper, what the use of it...i also don't know la,huhuh...so i just said it's for decoration, lol XD
another thing he ask me, why his housemate, a chinese guy from sabah, speak malay with his family, he overheard a girl voice he said....he was so shocked...how leh a malay girl can come into the house, lol XD....so funny...normal ba tu sy rasa ckp bm, terkezut pla dia,ohohhoooh...

okay, okay...enough...ba, today i learn to be cashier...just one week but have to learn this because not enough staff,huhu...well, i tried it, and i think it's easier than when i was in baskin robbins,hahaha...unfortunately, i have a habit of keeping the notes on the cashier desk( i got it from baskin robbins XD )...but here i'm not supposed to do that, so i always need to keep that in mind...hmm...so far so good...but one thing i still have problem, i'm too lazy to speak up...my voice is so small...c ong yg dekat pun tia dgr, ini kan pla customer,huhu...teringat sy sma c din, liyana n kak naja...brabis ni dorg suruh sy ckp kuat2 dlu,huhu...nsib baik la sy blajar ni dgn c ong hari ni, klu dgn uncle jeffry, mgkin sy kena marah uda ni,huhu...takutnya...mesti mo ckp kuat2 mulai skrang,hehehhe...buli2 sy tersilap ckp melayu dgn org putih pla, lawak btul...nsib baik org putih tu memahami situsi sy, ceh,hehehhe XD

what else ahh..hmmm...nothing lagi la,hehe...thursday i'm off, that's all i care now XOXO...gud nite, sweet dream for myself, kah kah kah XD <3

dinner break

hahaha...i spent 45min of my dinner break to cc surf city, my favorite cc ever XD

hmmm...what happen ah today? not much...today is as boring as yesterday, but uncle jeffry off day, so we're only left with ong, shimah and me. uuuarrg...i feel so sleepy =,=

aiyayayayah...i'm supposedly off tomorrow, but since shimah is not working, uncle jeffry also for some (identified) reason cannot come( not really sure, but i interpret it as not coming)...so ong is the only one left...huhu...so uncle ask me to work tomorrow, and off on thursday,huhu... so now i still have to wait one more day, so sad =(
honestly, i think ong can manage the shop alone very well, hahhahaha...this morning he carried all the heavy things just by himself (i really didn't help much, i only watch people and photocopy only)...anyway....i still have to work lah...huhuh...

aah~ got to go, finish already my break lar,huhu...so, c ya next time :p

sunday sunny day

awww...it's sunday but i'm working...

huhu...like usual, sweep floor, mop, cuci tandas blah blah blah...

i was wondering why today morning got a lot of customer, then i realized it's sunday, yay!~

oya, yesterday i sold a scientific calculator, but i think i gave the wrong information...aaah...shit! nevermind la, hopefully he won't come back, hope hope hope~... ;p

today a few customers want to photocopy their mycard, but gave difficult instruction, ceh! so i make a lot of mistakes...and they actually saw that, so they ask us to dispose (tear) the wrong paper...and with their disatisfaction written all over their faces...so arrogant!

and so my job continued...again today i wrapped boxes, 4 small boxes...though i find it quite interesting, but the wrapping paper was so lousy. the printing was so outdated, no wonder it's free i thought.

so i waited for closing, wait wait wait, and finally...yesssh ~~ XD <3
~~~~that's how boring my life is,huhu =(

it's my 2nd day

oh ooh oh ooh...
today's work is better than yesterday. i have a new colleague but she only do part-time...but anyway, it's better than none at all, lol XD (so i won't feel that boring,hehe...) i think she's a pretty girl, but somehow she did remind me of old time ex-classmate, siti hawa...hmm...maybe their complexion and their face shape are the same...anyway, i think this girl (shimah) is way prettier,haahha...

what else ah? oya, ong get a present from someone today,lol...so funny! the guy who deliver it to him said it from his secret admirer, alalala...and say :" takkan la dari sy pla kot..." <--that's the funny part ( i'm rofl) XDD that's for his birthday, i guess ;p

oya, connie took her wallet already...good for her =)& i'm late huhu...tomorrow i hope everything will be okay, better than today >,<

airplane crash? huhu...scary =(

last night, i watched a documentary about airplane crash. i forgot the title of it i don't even remember which channel it from, either the discovery channel , national geographic or the other one...umm humm...

last time, everytime i'm flying in plane, i wish something bad will happen...i really wish i could experienced landing in water, i really really wish...lol... XD
now i know that i'm too stupid to even think i could survived in the crash...it was a very scary moment( as they depict in the show)huhu...i almost cry...now i can understand why some people have phobia flying... =D

1st day working

aisey, kerja uda kunun sy ni, tau2 kerja di kedai stationary jak,hahahah...adussh, first day working...so damn boring! suddenly i miss Lyana n working at baskin robbins...but...i guess even if i get the chance, i wouldn't want to work there again, just because i hate to serve the arrogant types of people..the 'mak datin types' la etc etc, pastu kena buli lagi oleh c ishwar pla(ahaha...sapa suruh dlm byk2 pekerja, aku jg yg kena suruh p bli makanan la, p photostat la,haha...takpa la, dpt jg aku lari kejap dr melayan customer,peh heheh)...lol...adedei... i even miss those days working at escatec as the production operator (or maybe because i miss some people -->samria the ibu mengandung, mimah, or even ika,hahaha...but most of all -->tadaaa--> sabariah aka along, muahahahhaha...sweet n weird memories, lalala...)

okay, so back to present day with this new job... the manager's name is Jeffry, and the supervisor is Ong...there's supposedly have another girl, but i haven't met her yet...lol...i think it's so funny that they have supervisor but only 2 people to manage...whatever la... ;p
my first impression for this uncle, he is okay and nice...for this ong chee zhi, hmm...sometimes he's cute, but sometimes he's weird...but according to debra, he is handsome, yay! too bad i'm not interested in chinese... just remind me of wong wai khet, for some reasons hated me so much,lol XD (i don't care la bro)...then both of them came out with the exactly same sentence( ong & wai khet) : "bahasa melayu & inggeris sy tak brapa okay ah" ...haisshh...tulung la!! but most of all, i think the chinese don't like or try to avoid talking to me is because they were intimidated by my face...i think they thought i'm a malay, but can't help talking chinese to me,hahaha...feels like they betraying their own language, lalalalala....

aaargh...so boring lar, i hope tomorow will be a better day,huhu =(

anyway, i noticed that there's one very big difference working with malay and chinese...during those old times kunun(working with malay), the first thing they ask is "do you have boyfriend?" while with chinese no personal matter were asked, only "what are you/are you malay?"lol...but both ask why i don't go back to my hometown...and i start mumbling blah blah blah...

hmmm...i think that's all for today... i might forget a lot of things, but these are the precious ones... if one day i read this blog again, i am very sure i'll laugh out loud for some odd reasons even rofl so hard...muahhahhahahah XD

nasi goreng laju erley

yum yum...ni la makanan tengah malam saya. ingredient? hahaha...nasi putih, bawang merah&putih, cili & sos tiram. main buang2 dlm kuali, tadaaaa...simple ja, tp rasa dia sedap ooh, jan jeles XD

saya kasi nama ni makanan sebagai : Nasi goreng laju erley
hahahahhah...

E.R.L.E.Y

another boring day, just checking email

today i checked my email, there's nothing much interesting things that appeared. fuh...that's lame...oh...then i saw someone commenting me in my youtube profile...lol..she thought i'm a filipino, but quickly realize i'm a malaysian, hahahha... xD

then i went to check on my hotmail, still no answer from jabil for the INSEP programme...well, i guess the offer is not valid anymore...though i'm not that frustated, but somehow i felt a bit of regret...anyway, for me, if God doesn't want me to be there, then there's no way i'll be there...i believe everything happened for a reason. maybe i ought to be something else...now i really need to plan ahead what to do, where to stay.

after the humiliation last friday night, i'm really confused as where do i go next. it seem to me those penangites doesn't want me here, but for me they were just a bunch of bitches and dick. i don't even care.lol...even if i stay, this is not because i really like here...oh hell, what the fuck do they care! my plan is to save some money at least rm2000 before i really go back to sabah(that'll take quite sometimes you know), and that's the end of story.

power rangers in space (PRIS)

Last night i watched this power rangers in space in youtube. it reminded me of my childhood. i used to love the show, and now that i watched it again, i still like it so much, though now i think that's a lot bunch of crap...who cares?lol

my fav PR series are PRIS and power rangers lost galaxy(PRLG). i'm going to watch these 2 seasons if i got time later...yay! talk about reminiscent of the good old times, yeah ^^

swollen eyes

today i wake up with swollen eyes...i'd been crying the whole night last night...now, my eyes are as big as an apple. this is a normal symptom for me. everytime i cried, my eyes will swell so much. it hurts and itchy sometimes. that's why if i can endure, i will not cry, especially in public! that's just so not me.
i 'm so fed up with the people surround me...of course i knew very well that everyone is selfish, including myself. i just hate the fact that i have to live in it, lol.
sometimes, i really want to die, just die. but, honestly, i don't really see the point of leaving this world just yet. so, my other solution is to run away from this country...try to start over in a new place, where no one can recognize me. for me that's the better choice...but, then again, there will be a lot of obstacles...so finally i will give up...what a shame...

fresh graduates?

it sucks! furthermore i'm not in my hometown...i choose to stay, not because i like it here in Penang, but because i don't like it my own place! i just hate people, i feel no difference between me and the illegal/ legal foreigners working in factory...maybe i get better chances in job MAYBE, but the look from those people's eyes(local) are cunning! i'm just an alien. the longer i stay, the more i want to go out and find new places, but i hate to start everything over again. so i'm dead trapped, here with my imagination. i hate, i hate, i hate people!

i hate you

i don't want to be in SS group anymore! this Saint & Sinners group aka Syiok Sendiri group. of course i'm selfish, but i just can't take it anymore...
people treat me like i'm an alien, but well,i guess it's because i'm not very familiar with them and their language ENGLISH! so what the fuck?! i don't even care if you guys are well educated scum, all i care is the growth of my faith...ahhhh...i don't care anymore!

fuh, it's new year! but...

it's already a week passed the bench mark for the new year, but we're still in january, so it's never too late to wish HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009! ahh...~sigh~

it's a new year, but i felt so tired. this wasn't a really good start for me. i've almost missed my flight, i got scold from my lecturer, i didn't attend classes, whatever...i got so tired of people, maybe it's just me, but why did everybody need to push me till i'm going crazy? where's hope? where's faith? i felt so helpless. i got tired and tired of this place, but i ain't coming home yet for sure.

i wish, i wish, i wish...but since it never came true, i 'm done wishing...