hey, it's my birthday 24

i'm getting older... 1 year older....yes, it's today.....
wish? no wish!!! i don't even wish to get lots of money, because money won't buy me happiness...well, at least it did assist the goal towards happiness, LOL ...aaaahhh...i just hope that i won't die in poverty ~ coz i think it's sad :(

omg! did i like this job?

okay, i don't know exactly what i like. i don't have any interest or hobby...well, i really really like to sing and making songs, but i don't think i will ever success in this field. it's so frustrating, and like Tey says, there's a lot of hardwork, sweats and tears along the way. but i think without the right package, i will never success! <--so i can cancel this choice

so did i like to work in a confined place doing all the admin jobs? No Wayyyyyyy.... i do think working like that is better if i want to live a normal life. but then again, i just feel it's not what i like.

so, instead of all those types of jobs, i think i still prefer working as retail assistant or as an oprator in factory, huhu...so why am i wasting my 4 years studying in university if at the end i'm becoming a low rated worker? i hate to admit this, but i do appreciate knowledge, but sometimes it's was just served me as knowledge where else i don't prefer knowledge in my routine life....arrgh!!!!! now i just don't care with what other says!

awww...

to stay or to leave?

today ong off-day, so i didn't see him...but i'm still thinking about his words, about i should plan my future. at first i felt really angry, i hate it, so terribly hate it!!!! i feel like i'm about to cry! how dare him questioning my meaning of life?! this is so unfair, huhuhu ='( he is so unreasonable!

but at the end of the day, i was thinking...maybe this is an alarm from God that i should take my life seriously, maybe i'm about to die? so don't go astray...yeah, if not, why such a person, who definitely knows nothing about me so dare to come and advice me? and i really hate it. i already told him that i don't want to think about it, i will NOT think about it! but i did...why? why? why?!huhuhu...is he a reincarnation of my late father? usually i will rebel all the advices given by my father, but in the end i followed all of it. is it? is it my God wants to give me a lesson? but my heart had already broken, how can i be happy ever again? i really really wish someone will come and save me, but i know that day will never come...

so i had been thinking...maybe it's a sign that i should go back to my hometown...try to fix everything that i've broken...but i'm so scared. i hate the feeling that i have to start all over again...it's not a new place, but i've never feel like home. so what should i tell? huhuhu...hometown never feel like home, penang never seemed to welcomed me...so where should i go? do i stay? or should i just leave? i think the latter will be the choice...huhu...no more internet, less youtube, and definitely no money, no connection to outer world =(... so goodbye my beloved Penang~~~~~~~~~~

omg! i'm so angry!

huhu...what a fucking shit day, fucking retard customers + biatch2...i hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!why are those people even exist ?! this is so unfair!!! crazy customer!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!! hmmmph!!! padan muka customers bodoh budusss....

am i that unreliable? this is so crazy! i can't live in a place where people don't trust my ability...ada ka kena ty soalan cam tu...huhu...rasanya mmg la sy ni cam tia brapa berguna, tp klu kena ty apa plan masa depan sy, mana la sy boleh jawab!huhu...sedihnya cam mo menangis jak,huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu.....bukan la sy mo ckp c ong ni jahat, tp btul2 sy tia suka kena lecture,huhu...aparaaaahhh...sy ni lebih tua 3 thun tau, mesti la sy paham pasal perancangan masa depan sy, tp sy teda la mo plan apa2 lagi skarang ni, sbb sy mmg tia organize py org, klu sy kasi sia-sia masa sy pun, tu kan masa sy, bukannya masa siapa2...huhu...cis, sedihnya sy, btul2 rasa cam sy ni teda guna langsung,huhu...hati sy uda remuk dipijak2, tali bergantung sy pun uda putus, camna la pla sy mo membina kehidupan baru yg gembira kunun?huhuhu....apa2 pun, susah2 ja c ong tu p nasihat sy, huisssh...melampau btul, ni yg buat sy rasa mo blik sabah cepat2 ni =( uwwaaaaaaaaaaa.....huhuhuhuhuuhuhhuhuuh....

lirik ku =)

td sy selak2 buku lagu sy, ternampak ini...ni lirik yg sy tulis, tp blum cari melody lagi, chorus pun blum ada,hhaahhaa...ntah uda tersimpan brapa lama uda ni, tp sy rasa not bad jg oh,heheh...ble la kampung2 kunun,hahhahahahah XD

Sometimes people say life must be easy
it's only good if you had the best
get it the easiest way
that's when you're at the top
everyone craving for it
everyone dreaming for it

but what is life?
did anybody out there knew?
what to feel and what to expect...
how does it taste?
we're so different...
so who are you to blame?
if i'm not what i was

i'm waiting and it hurts
i want to be free but what is freedom?
if one day there is a person
who scold me just for what i am now
i wish i can shout back and say
"i am me, stop bothering me!"
and just walk away.

huh?! *blurr?!*

hola...today is not a bad day, though it's still boring as usual,huhu...okay, this morning i sent a good luck message to mary, my best ever bestfriend, hahhahha...gud lak for her job,heheh...but she sent me ohh tidak erley,huhu...i was surprise, i wonder what happened, but i hope it's not bad,huhu...i hope she's okay XD

then, when i was waiting at the front of the shop, i saw ong...hahaha...sorry this blog contain a lot of ong, uncle jeffry, zam, shimah and MARY <3 ,hehhehe...what to do, half of my day is filled with them...hahhaaha...but i really wish mary is here too...miss all the fun stuffs we used to do together XD

okay, back to ong...he looked like he's in the good mood,hahahha...he came to me and ask me :"how?"...huh?! i was so blurr...i ask what how?hmmm...he left already....hahahha...then uncle jeffry came...he asked me:" do you sleep well last night?" huh?!...i'm so blurr now...but i said ya ya...hahhaha...hmm...i'm not used to being ask in the morning,hahaha...

today nothing really happened. we don't have a lot of customer...oya, today ong teach me a few things about the file, cause he wanted me to follow-up the file's stock...oh no, i'm so blurr...what is this follow-up thingy?huhu...well, zam will be doing the arts and books, whilst ong will do the it-tech and pens...aahh..whatever lah,huhu...cam tia best ja mo buat benda ni tau,huhu =( so he showed me the different types of files and other things as well...but i found funny is that he always have a bit of complains about uncle jeffry, i mean not in a bad way, but like for example uncle jeffry likes to put new items in wherever space available regardless of the types of the item,lol XD

okay, then finish already...stock came...so i need to check the delivery... it was a story book. i don't want to say novel, because from the title it was quite childish,hahahah XD whatever lah...oh no...i'm hungry la pla time malam2 cam ni,huhu...oh, cepat2 kasi habis crita, =(

ah, pa lagi ahh..oya, sy check tu stock swan stabilo,huuhu...fening mo juling mata sy tgok tu pen2 yg berpelbagaian sekalian,yay XD check py check...tiba2 uncle jeffry ckp: "why you two so quite?" huh?!(again)hahhahaha...mesti la diam, camna mo buat bising klu sy sibuk mengira pen, c ong pla sibuk menyusun barang nun di hujung sana...hahhahaha...merepek ba c uncle ni, sapa suruh tia pasang radio, patut dorg pasang radio ba ni spy tia sunyi, wlpun sbenarnya sy tia suka org bising time sy menigra,hahahahha XD

okay, okay...part yg paling lucu hari ni ialah, jeng jeng jeng...ada ba ni customer mo fotostat...pastu ada gambar harimau...dia mo kasi besar gambar tu kali pada pemahaman sy...tp sy tia tau buat, jadi sy panggil c ong...pastu c ong yg buat...hahaha...dia bilang dia paling tia suka fotostat,hahhaha...lantak ko la ong XD
pastu dia buat py buat, dia kasi tunjuk...ropa2nya, tu orang mo buat kasi jadi dua ekor harimau tu dlm i keping kertas,haaissh...hahahha XD...lucu ba c ong tu ckp: "ooh, ni shi yao liang zhi lao hu" trus kami tiga2 ketawa...aduii mo pecah perut, sy rasa mo berguling2 ja di lantai ketawa,hahahhahaha XDD sbb sy teringat tu lagu harimau...pastu sy ingat time bloopers hana-kimi versi taiwan tu c ella kasi ketawa versi lagu negara c wu chun: san zhi lao hu, san zhi lao hu, bao de kuai, bao de kuai...yi ke mei you yan jing, yi ke mei you cui ba, zhen qi kuai, zhen qi kuai...eh, na di san zhi qi le na li ne?hahahhaha..." ba, mana uda tu pak belang ketiga,hahahah...tp dulu sy pun ingat 3 ekor ba tu,hahahahah XD ROFL ROFL *guling2*

aduiii...melampau uda laparrrrr sy ni, mo p cari dlu benda2 yg ble dimakan,hahahha...tadaaaa...

to be continued...